the good....




the bad....



and the ugly....



lolz. i should b hung.

..................................................................................

we talked a moment ago. he mentioned that i've never let him in.

that at some point in my life, i closed the door and threw away the key. did i?

i never realized i've turned into this monster. over the years, all the heartaches and disappointments have turned me into something i hate the most. when did i turn so cold, so inhumane?

yet i wait for the day for someone to come and touch me. someone that has that knowledge and love to help me twist this handle clockwise and open this door. i really want to move on. i really want to heal. i really want to pretend nothing bad has ever happened in my life. that everything, even the worst of shitty experiences and memories, happened for a reason. a good reason, be at that.

i've thought about it. how much love am i willing to give someone? even if i do love someone that much, will i ever change? will i give up my frostiness for the warmth that once echoed around my words and actions?

i listen to sad songs of heartache and pain, and read articles that hurt me the more i read on. yet i continue. willing the pain to course through my heart, mind and body again. hoping, wishing, that if i feel enough pain, i might become more human. testing myself. pushing myself over the limit.

it doesn't matter if it's hurt or pain or heartache or disappointment i feel.

at least i do.

i need that, at least.