of whispers in the heart

work is so boring, i can just keel over and die right now. So what does a girl do when she's bored at work? Blog-whore and Friendster-whore.

... (yes i know, no life, i know)

i chose friendster-whoring today. Looked thru my old old old testimonials.. and.. gosh, i don't know how to write about the feeling of just, realizing how much i've changed over the yrs.

For better or worse, only time can tell. One thing for sure though, i'm not:

1. As princess-y as before.
2. As bitchy as before.
3. As crazy as before.
4. As funny as before.
5. As childish as before.

How will you describe all the above? Hhmm.. maybe i.. grew up? >.< Heck, i don't know. Maybe i grew bitter, and resolutely more depressed over the yrs. Thinking how simple things can always go wrong one freaking way or the other.

How we can lie. How we can give up. How we smile, but we're dying inside. How we can just let go, with no qualms about what the other half says. How we can be someone so completely different with each person we're around with. How we can eventually lose track of our real self after that. (Asks: So who am i?).

Kheong wrote this testimonial to me 2 yrs back:

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to take, only what you are expecting give, which is everything. What you will receive in return varies, but it really has no connection with what you give. You give because you love and cannot help giving."

- Helen Fisher, author of the book, "WhyWe Love"

... how much am i willing to give?