i remember

i was sitting at my desk, flipping through webpages, news pages, girlfriend's blogs, boyfriend's blog, and Malaysian news... and it just hit me.

• How i missed my childhood days.
• Times when i could screw up, and make mistakes and learn from it.
• Times when i could make mistakes without being reprimanded (unlike now, if i make one mistake, just one, and my head and ass would be in the line of fire)
• How i practically hated my primary school days (i was never the nice person. Or known. i was the wallpaper, nerd-like, in fact) Ok fine. i'm still the nerd.
• Days without end when i could laugh, joke, and make funny faces and expressions to my high school friends in class (and i was known for making the most crass and obnoxious comments)
• Days when me, lea and karen would sneak out of Mrs. Tan's accounting class *it was too (way too) dreary and boring to sit through the double periods* to visit Adeline, and Seng downstairs, by crouching down and sneaking out of the back door.
• Days when boon was actually stuuuupid *yes, he was, jokingly of course* and his brains and sense was worth only 2 cents (we wanted to make it 1 cent, ok. Two cents is gooood)
• Days and years, when we (ALL of us girls) would and could ogle on cute boys (new boys, mostly) and think *wah! Damn cute! Go see, go see!!!*
• Weekends when we would go to lea's house on sat, and walk to One U, wore short skirts, and bought flouncy earrings.
• Years, when earrings were the IN thing in high school. And would constantly compare the ones we bought.
• The years when my dad had no $$$, and my parents never had the heart to tell me. And i spent, like normal. Whereas they would go without food for half a day, just to feed me. And the day that i cried, when my dad finally told me in Form 4 (But thigs were muuuch better after that) and how my mum would suffer, scrimp and work to put a lil food on the table (my friends never knew)
• The final year of high school when all of us girls would chatter, and wonder who's gonna take us to the prom *sighhhhh*
• The time after the prom. Some cracks appeared in what, seemed like, cemented friendship
• Times when we could cry, reminisce of earlier highschool days and wonder, where did the years go to?
• The time when i went to Lea's house before she left for Syd, and we cried together, hugging, and thinking that we might never see each other again(which we did, of course, babe). And i couldn't even see her long, because asshole andrew was rushing me, downstairs.
• The years after, when everything seemed to fall apart. Thinking that our high school bonds of love, trust and friendship would've ended, now that all of us were separated by geographical borders... and the new walls that separated us, friends, emotionally.
• For me, the years after high school seemed... somewhat distant. Not much fantastic memories.. years when we were separated. But only joined by 3 months of close bonds, when friends would come back.
• Of course, the year that i won 1st place in the Ms KDU pageant (which was crap, of course). But followed by Lea's earrings as a congratulatory pressie for me. Sent fm Syd.
• The years during college (2000-2003) when things were ok, but my dad was still a bit tight financially, and would always apply for time extension to pay college fees (btw, kdu can go kiss my ass. Bloody college)
• The years when my parents and i would have screaming matches, whether it was in the morning (highly unlikely, cause i'd be sleepin), evening (before/after dinner) and at 3am (after i came home). *Now, the screaming matches would be at 10pm. Or 1pm. Although it had been reduced to, me, trying to make my parents see eye to eye in a more polite way, and loving them more than ever, as well as appreciating small things*
• The moment i realized that my love, would be permanent. It took me a long time to realize that. And now, although we've been together for years (it seems), and new memories are made everyday, that moment of realization seemed so far away.

Although some friendships and love have melted away, some broken for good.. A few of us still keep the friendship. There are, considerably, a lot less friends than the past, but i believe some friendships and love are here to stay. My family, however damaged and cracked up in the past, now have been pulled together. Yes, we still argue, mostly with me disagreeing with my dad on how to handle situations... but i love them more. How my dad n mum would carefully put my new *brand new* tea mug (huge one) at the dining table and put the nicely wrapped can of chinese tea on top of it, on the morning of my first day at work.

i remember. Do you?