is this the beginning of the end?

i wonder...

how long it took me to realize.
that this piece of beautiful pottery is not the right one.

i mean...

it looks absolutely perfect, to the finest details.
but when perfection is the problem, what then?

i seem...

really really pleased to display this piece.
who in the right mind wouldn't want an expensive and hard-to-find piece of pottery displayed?

i wouldn't...

cause i don't live in an expensive house. dammit.
i can't afford Lorenzo's... i have to use Cavenzi. but i'm darn proud of it!

i treasure...

the hardship, poverty, and meagre life i went through as a child till i was 17.
it was only during those moments of pain, did i see true kindness. and true faces of people.

i question...

myself. pushing myself to find the one reason, just one, as to why i want that pottery there permanently.

people...
tell me i don't need a reason.
tell me i don't need perfection.
say life doesnt always turn out the right way.
tell me i have to take the best that comes.
say i can't have everything in life.

but..
i do want everything i want.
i don't wanna give up this battle without fighting.
i don't want to settle for second best...
just because of 'lost opportunity' n words of
"What if nothing better drops by?"

then..
i'll live my life
knowing i did have the courage
to walk out this door
and search for experiences
that enrich me
that fulfill me

and completes me.