LovabLe Neurotic

this space is my own... the world through my eyes

Friday, September 08, 2006

You know what? i'm getting too weary of all this shit.

Why are you doing this to me? For what good damn reason? Can you please fucking tell me?

Was i not there for you whenever you wanted me to? Was i not defending you when you needed me to? did i not give you the best advise i could possibly give a friend, a damn good friend at that? Have i not given enough? Did i not shoulder at least half of your fucking burden (of not having enough money, of not having a good job, of not doing a good resume?)

What the fuck was i thinking?

When i amended your damn resume, word for fucking word. When i drove all the way down to where you boys would be, because you didn't have a car. When i disseminated out your resume to possible employers that i think would suit your character.

i'm not asking for much.

Heck, i've never asked for anything in return.

i wanted to do this, because i thought you'd be worth it. that my care and love for you as a friend would amount to something good in the end.. something that can withstand the test of time.

All you've done so far, is to make me feel used. You say you respect me. You say you treat me as a true friend. You say that i deserve better treatment from people around me.

Yet you sometimes, are the one causing this irritation of pain. Like a frigging thorn stuck in my finger. You hurt me. You did, you know.

you didn't notice.

But you did. And i cannot believe i fell for it.

Now when i've left you, and stopped caring as much as i did;
you're coming back.

Didn't you realize i stopped talking? Didn't you realize that everytime you say something challenging, i stopped arguing back? Didn't you realize that i was really no longer there with you, for you?

.... didn't you see that i was pulling away from you?

i've taken care of you so much.
i've given you more than you deserve to receive.

and yet you disregarded it.

disregarded me.

i can take this from other ppl who claim to be friends with me..
but not from you.

not you.

1 Comments:

Blogger LusciousLuc said...

Yeah, i know.

i did give it all i've got.

when he's upset, he expects me to b there.. to listen to him, to support him.

yet when i'm in pain, or when i need someone... he comes up with some sarcarstic shit.

i don't deserve this, i know. it's just, really hard to walk away from a friend.

September 10, 2006 2:19 pm  

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