i despise counting

... my pennies.

***warning: this is an angry angsty post about my sad self. Just allow me this moment of release***

i mean, i hate it. i really really hate it.

Ever since i started working i've been counting
*this month must save RM1000 (ended up saving onli RM700)
*this month cannot buy clothes (ended up buying RM150 worth of shoes)
*this month i need to cut down on drinks.. spend less on alcohol! (ended up spending RM150 on liquor)
*this month cutting down on petrol.. must drive economically! Don't accelerate so much! (ended up going to and fro KL 3 times a week to accommodate some fucker)
*this month must budget spending to RM100 a week oK! (NO o.k.... K.O. instead)

tiu.

i mean... where has all the joy in life gone? Instead, i count my pennies, then realizing how moody i've gotten to trying to save more, ended up spending MORE instead.

i hate it.

i hate the fact that all those rich boys get to spend as much as they want.
i hate the fact that all those rich girls get to buy Gucci's, and Prada's and LV's.
i hate the fact that i'm looking forward to payday so desperately.
i hate the fact that i want to save.
i hate the fact that i want to have a better life ahead..
i hate the fact that i'm planning, and joining this really good savings scheme that will give me LOADS of rewards when i'm retired.... but everyone's just... living for the moment.

they don't need to save or anything.
why should i?

.....
Because i want to... argh, i don't even know what the fuck this post's about in the first place.

shit.

it started because...

i'm not supposed to touch my savings. but i did. took out RM50 last nite... cause i onli had RM2 left in my wallet.. so aiyah, oklah, this will last me till Tuesday... (weekend's on kheong) then i just save more lar when my pay comes out on Monday.

i didnt realize that i put it in my BAG not my wallet. when i reached work this morning.. i thought i had RM52 so i went to buy breakfast for RM1.50.. fuck looked inside, ccb onli Rm2.

TIU LOR.

i had to pay mar, take food adey. tiuuuuuu

now i hv no more cash in my wallet.

Well 50 cents count, no? Still, i have nearly nothing in my wallet.
Lunch is on office today, but i hv to pay RM2 for the toll later..... howwwww?

and me, being the cheap bitch that i am, refuse to go and take marnee fm my savings again. No more cash in my office account... *sob sob*

i hate being so cheap.
i never used to be so cheap (well that was before i started planning for my retirement)

good rewards at the end of the rainbow? >.<
i really hope so

*faint smile*