LovabLe Neurotic

this space is my own... the world through my eyes

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Warm and Fuzzy and Smiles

Grammatically wrong, but i'm happy!

The place here is fabulous!

The people are fantastic!

The work is really interesting!

The radio is on! LOUD! :D

The view is good! 23rd Floor!

Boss is SOO-PER!

The lady next to me is great (Loud, but still great!)!

Colleagues here are darn nice *Getting warm and fuzzy already*

Be happy for me! I found my abode somewhere over the rainbow.

Finally *smiles*

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

still a useless bastard after all.

i know i've been writing pissed-off posts lately, but you canNOT blame me.

Some of you might remember the post i wrote about a 'friend' whom i helped out a lot?

By doing his resume, word for word.
By fetching him around in kl, because he didnt have a car.
By going all the way to kl because ALL of them had no cars.
By driving to kl to club, because they wanted me to tag along... when i'd never drive at night after 12am. Never.


So here i was, thinking an occassional sms or an occassional call was ok.

Didnt bother about that useless asshole much after he pissed me off so badly two months or so back.

And then the calls started again.



i've had enough of you complaining your sorry ass to me every single time something doesn't work out for you.

i'm sick and tired of hearing you rant on and on and on about everything.

haven't i paid my dues?

did i not walk away nicely? so as not to wound your pathetic small heart?

And what about the damn calls? You mother fucker. I thought you were trying to be nice again. I thought you wanted to have a bit of this friendship back, and decided to take the first step.

I let you in. again.

I picked up your fucking calls. I listened to you rant on and on.

I thought you just needed an ear to listen to your problems.


Until you said the magic words:

"Hey can you do me a favour?"

You started asking me about the contacts I had. Their names, their numbers.
Do you take me for a fool? Fine, i LET you take me for a fool just once on Monday.
Give you the name and number of contact person.

Then today. Called me out of the blue. Warning bells startede ringing. Never-Mind.

After what seemed a normal conversation... the magic words came out again:

"Hey, before you go can you do me a favour? You know *who and who* at Vincci/Padini/Seed right? I need the names. FULL names."

i kept quiet. i gave the first name. And then i said i didnt know the last name. And i said i wasn't going to give it to him if i found out.

Can't you take NO as an answer?

Do i look like a one-stop information guide?

Did you not take me for granted enough? Did you not use me enough?

What more do i owe you?

I have paid my dues, through and through.

I've had enough of helping you out. Of listening to your whining. Of giving you contacts of people i know and like. Just so you can 'do your business'.

I know i'm mean. But if you have the damn capabilities, you would find the contacts yourself.

And if you really needed my help.. It wouldn't fucking hurt to be nice to me from the heart. It wouldn't hurt for you to be my friend because you wanted to. It wouldn't fucking hurt your small heart to actually listen to me for once, and not insult me the moment i give you the contact.


I quit.

I really quit.

I dont even know why was i so fucking naive to help you in the first damn place.

I'm sure with your capabilities, it shouldn't be a problem for you to do your business on your own.

A new day begins tomorrow

i start my new job tomorrow.

i have a very good feeling about this.

i know i'm gonna work hard, and do my best.

it might get frustrating at times, but i'm not going to give up.


hhmmm, actually, i haven't felt this good about a job before. Nor as excited


i think it's a good sign, don't you? *smiles*

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Assholes and more

Well i've been dota-ing for.. erm, the past 5 months.

Not to say i'm in any way Pro, but i can say i'm okaylah. Obviously still get murdered by super -geng people like daniel and jen when they bump into me on the lane. Or rather, I bump into them.



You know about what they say about people's character 'showing' when they're playing a game?

Like i knew this dude who used to play mahjong with me, and when he lost he'll start throwing tiles at people, and nearly turned the table over.

Another person i know actually cheats in any game. And i really mean ANY.


Like i was saying about Dota, with relevance to the above statement about people's characters showing when in play?

Pissed me off completely when a friend's friend came over to join us for games.

We win some, we lose some.

Losing and winning comes hand in hand.

I'm okay about losing.

What i hate most are thieves.

A person who comes into your base and takes your item, which is inside the fountain and actually taking it. Using it.

And never returns it when asked nicely.

What kind of spineless person would do that?

Like, hello, we spent loads of money buying those items, and irregardless of whether i am losing or not, you as the opponent can NOT take the items.

i'm absolutely disgusted.


Friday, November 24, 2006



Congratulations, people, on finding my humble blog..

Well, considering i have 'a couple' of you guys on my friendster list, it's no wonder one could and would find it.


To some of you whom i love and appreciate, i'm gonna say thanks..


Some of you sweethearts have gone through the shitty parts of my 4 months with me, helped me through, and two of you have covered my arse pretty well.

You guys know who you are (when i gave a rather teary goodbye before i left).

I will never forget what you guys have done for me. Ever.
That's how much i appreciate you dears.. :)


To some of you whom i have neither love/hate feelings, hello!

Don't really like you guys nosing in, but hello too!


To the particular you that i do not like... :)


Well, to say you helped me out with you know who, was a bit... of an overstatement.

Why? Hhmm let me count the reasons:-

No.1: You are NOT to bitch about a client to other people in the same industry. Never. Do you know why? Because it makes your company look bad. And word gets around, ok, it does.

No.2: You are NOT supposed to drink during office hours. Regardless of whether you are on fasting (or not). Period.

No.3: Even after a drinking binge which you do in my boss's office, you do NOT swagger around and parade that you are.

Well, i mean, you're a pretty nice dude and all. Really, you are.

But the three reasons above is exactly why i wrote the post that i did.


I do not exactly like to burn bridges. Really.

This is a personal blog. This is where i pour out MY personal feelings.. hence why it's personal.

What i feel about any of you, and how i live my life is none of your business.

If you wanna read it, go ahead. You might not like it, and your opinion of me might change, but there are some things that i don't give a damn about.

And this is one of it.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

*hic burp groan*

Didnt realize anyone could get drunk on beer

*sheepish smile*

yeah yeah (waves hand) i'm a bad bad drinker..

it was like my entire high school was there at the wedding.. and the bride, wisely put me on the same table as the drinkers.


Big surprise.


Pictures later.


Wanted to go on a fruit fast on Monday, but considering i was suffering a slight hangover... decided it was a bad choice.

Today is my 1st fruit fast day.

and honestly?

It's pure agony.

Just walking by all the ice cream shops, the chue pah shops and all the yummy yet sinful things i know i shouldn't even smell... sigh.... it's hard, this is.


2 more days to go (While munching on fucking expensive grapes)

Fucking expensive grapes, mind you.

Sunday, November 19, 2006


A happy couple is married.


Congratulations, Chia Tee on your fantabulous wedding.

May you and your beloved husband have many happy years ahead of you.. :)

ps: Hope the food is good at Shang. hehe.

Friday, November 17, 2006


a call

that was all it took

just a call

i could almost hear the warning bells ring. i swear i did


Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broken inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Christina - Hurt

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

says who? Says me!!


*jumps hops skips*

Celebrate with me!


Guess what?

*blink blink*

It's my last day of work today! Yay!! *throws confetti into the air*

*Luc then proceeds to jump around in joy, twirling in confetti; all this while grinning like a bobcat*

I'll be on a 12 day break before i sell my soul again to the devil. Well, at least it's a better devil, you know what i mean?

Ah... the sweet bliss of being unemployed till dec 1. I've never had a proper holiday before i started work. Jumped in straight to hell after i graduated. Now, at least, i am getting two weeks, which is in my eyes.. Perfect.


Saturday, November 11, 2006

Random stuff

Celibacy my ass....


So far, my week of 'no alcohol and nicotine' was broken yesterday night.

Lok's birthday, and i guzzled down two shots of gin 7-up that Nick brought. And smoked like a chimney (nicked it off Ivor n Abel) while eating fantabulous grilled lamb chops and crispy roast duck.

We were so bored we ended up watching James Bond. The James Bond movie with Sean Connery in it.

Sean Connery.


It was a bit old school la, but quite cute in its way. Pity they dont make shows like that anymore.


It's Saturday night... 10.30pm.

I'm in a cc waiting to play dota. Sigh.

There goes another weekend.


But i will be on a two week break from work... i'm going to HeadHunting now, so, wish me luck.

i'm dumping this stupid idiotic PR company in Plaza Damansara and heading to downtown KL.

Say Hello to daily jamming sessions.


Why the fuck is everybody so late?!



I actually kinda like Taman Desa.

Especially the old trees that line the roadside...
It's like going back to your hometown.Like the place where you grew up in.
The picturesque place looks like it's taken right out of Nostalgia Book (Our SMDJ high school book)

Food here is good.. especially Info.
Ok, no, it's not called Info. It's called Sri Neelas, but we just like it as 'info'.

Played pool for a couple of hours just now before heading up to the cc.
Downstairs the kepas were singing chinese songs ala karaoke style


My brother bought a cue identical to mine.



i'm so bored.

Where the fuck is everybody?!

Perhaps we're just early. Everybody else follows 'malaysian time'.

Think i will learn to practice that soon. At least i won't be waiting on my fat ass all the time for ppl to show up.


Tuesday, November 07, 2006

oh No!


i'm such a horn-bag

Dating StrengthsDating Weaknesses
1. Flirtiness - 100%
2. Varied Interests - 85.7%
3. Adventurousness - 83.3%
4. Confidence - 66.7%
5. Friendliness - 62.5%
1. Selfishness - 81.8%
2. Humorlessness - 62.5%
3. Vanity - 58.3%
4. Negative Reputation - 55.6%
5. Lack of Essentials - 50%

Dating Strengths Explained
Flirtiness - Flirting is a good way to break the ice, and you are a pro at it. Being flirtatious will open up many dating opportunities.
Varied Interests - You don't limit yourself, and that's a dating asset. Your varied interests make you available and interesting to a wider range of guys.
Adventurousness - You are willing to try new things and be spontaneous. You want to get out there and really live, and you will attract people with a similar love of life.
Confidence - You are sure of yourself and confident of your abilities. Displays of confidence go a long way when attracting a date.
Friendliness - Your friendliness makes you approachable and fun to be around. A wide circle of friends also works to your advantage on the dating scene.
Dating Weaknesses Explained
Selfishness - You think too much of yourself and your needs. You must learn to put your partner first and tend to his needs.
Humorlessness - You need to learn how to take a joke, or better yet how to tell a good one. A well-developed sense of humor is high on the list of desired traits for daters.
Vanity - Learn to put a lower priority on looks. Appearance is, of course, important, but vanity is undesireable. The only people you will attract are the superficial.
Negative Reputation - Your reputation may be working against you. Sometimes this is impossible to control, but try to counter-act it by presenting yourself in positive ways.
Lack of Essentials - Dating is difficult for you because you lack certain key things, which may include private space, a car, money, or a nice wardrobe. Work toward obtaining these essentials!
Take the Dating Diversions Latest Online Dating Quiz


i guess the whole point is finding your center, no?

For example.. when i was growing up, sex was always a no-no in my family. Even after 11 boyfriends, with NO sexual results (cause i was scared, see) i thought i was doomed. So i told myself i'd loosen up and be more sexual.

Everything went...

I guess i over-did it.

But now, i've sorta found where i'm most comfortable at.. somewhere in the middle.

Finding your center is hard, no?

Some people tend to be too aggressive after a lifetime of being called a pussy.
Some people tend to be too vain after a lifetime of being called fat and ugly and unwanted.

It took me 5 years to build ME.
I can't say i'm satisfied yet.
I can't say i'm perfect.

But i'm working towards it. I wanna be happy with myself.
It's just, hard.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Disenchanted - My Chemical Romance (from the album Black Parade)

Well I was there on the day they sold the cause for the queen
And when the lights all went out
We watched our lives on the screen

I hate the ending myself
But it started with an alright scene

It was the roar of the crowd
That gave me heartache to sing
It was a lie when they smiled
And said, "you won't feel a thing"
And as we ran from the cops
We laughed so hard it would sting

Yeah yeah, oh
If i'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long? (all night long, all night long)
And will it matter after I'm gone?
Because you never learned a god damned thing

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you

I spent my high school career
Spit on and shoved to agree
So I could watch all my heroes
Sell a car on tv
Bring out the old guillotine
We'll show 'em what we all mean

Yeah yeah, oh
If i'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long? (all night long, all night long)
Now will it matter long after I'm gone
Because you never learned a god damned thing

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you

So go, go away, just go, run away.
Now where did you run to?
And where did you hide?
Go find another way
Price you pay

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you, come on
You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you
At all

***la-da-di-da.....Hums along in office***

This album is awesome!!! =D

it's Friday?
it's Friday?!
it's Friday!!!!

*grins like a stupid bitch*


and No, i ain't clubbing. i ain't drinking.
i'm gonna be a health freak this week.

Will abstain from alcohol.
Nicotine, if i can..

And exercise and sleep my weekend away...
(with the exception of 5 hours of dota tonight and on sunday)


Eh do i sound like a Dota Expert? I'm not, bk! i'm NOT!!
Stop asking me questions about how to build up diff heroes because i have NO EXPERIENCE.
(oklah, maybe for half of them lah)
but i'm SOOOOOO Noobish, there's just no point for you to listen to my opinions.


Please stop asking me.


hhmm.. think about it, no one should ever ask me for advice.

and if i want to or can't help myself, don't listen.


Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Bitch-Mode ON

for the next 10 minutes.


i have this 'friend' who's actually quite an alright guy. Got to know him 2 years ago, and he was sweet and considerate last time when he came back to KL after a hiatus in down under.

asked us over for supper, bbq, play cards, drinks..

all of a sudden, he got really popular with the "who's who"and he did a 180 degree turn

... a snippet of our conversation:
Me: *blab about a reality tv show* yak yak yak
Him: Hey i know ms xxxxxxx from there. Grew up together. Actually ah... *add unimportant details here*

He doesn't realize that all the girls are actually going out with him because he's rich.
Or that he continually buys alcohol for ALL HIS FRIENDS and spends THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS on them just to have fun. Nevermind la. He rich mar. No. Wait. HIS FATHER is rich mar.

Just add it into the tab man. No worries.

The worst is, after he got 'so damn fucking' popular, he started treating me like shit. Which is pretty alright, really. i don't care.

What pisses me off is this; i realized what a fucking shallow asshole he really is.
If i wear like normal (slippers, skirt, t shirt) he says i'm annoying la, i'm bitchy la, i'm stupid la.
Watever. Nevermind.
If i wear like damn nice (with high heels, dress, makeup) he is DAMN nice to me ok. Like, "Do you want ice with that dear" nice.


His way of rating a chick:

Mandatory features: Gorgeous looking. Sexy.
Optional features: Brains not necessary. Just enough character to fill a teacup.