LovabLe Neurotic

this space is my own... the world through my eyes

Monday, October 30, 2006


i know i owe you chee hooi.. :D

and you know you love me too


(Grins like a monster)

After a while, you guys should learn never to trust me to post up pics as soon as i take 'em.. i'll procrastinate uploading it until... my collection swells to over 50 pictures. haahha

Well i'm really bad with days, so.. in random order (all clubbing pictures and such are dated from July up to one month ago)

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Boo! =D

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Max.. taking me taking you. Starbucks times square, on a weekday (i took m.c.)

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Moi with Bob at Passion

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Max, Passion

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WaaaahhHhhhhhhh *jumps around like a fool*

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Apparently deep in contemplation *huffs* o.O

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Kheong n i at Italiannies, before the reunion party at passion

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Mouse!! =)

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Mouse and rachel

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Mouse, dagu and rachel

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Deloitte chicks

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The laughing Buddha and tongkia

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Babes and rachel

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Roger and CheeHooi (a.k.a. Mouse, Hamster, any gerbil-like mammal.. cute mar!!)

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k i'm getting high already.. y so many pics wan? Shit. Padan Muka.

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The Pointing Part 1

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The Pointing Part 2

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The many weird expressions of DJ Crew

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oklah, i'm officially too drunk

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Say bye bye boys!

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i say bye bye now!!

Oklah.... i was too drunk that night to know what really happened. Apparently there were stories of 'ehem' flirting with the deloitte girls, and humping one of them. hahaaha...

The week after the DJ reunion

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Dinner @ souled out.. here's drew carey, nixsu and candice

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Lok lok! He's my personal trainer now.. i'm doing weight resistance training at the 'mo.

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Edwin Choy! in poppy

Oklah.. here's the story.. went to poppy with edwin, bob (Both ex dj-ians) with matt, james (he grabbed my ass that night ok? he's a BAD ass grabber mind you) and mouse. I ended up getting drunk... and i remember ed saying he's getting sober! So i mixed him a SUPER ASS KAU whiskey coke, and i recall forcing him to finish it... he was taking SO DAMN LONG with it lor. so not funny. a girl can do better.... when hamster asked me to move my freaking ass.. "Raid luc! Raid!!!"... and here i was telling ed.. "You drink finish first then we go! Faster laaaaa by todayyy!"

And then i heard shouting. And saw ppl rushing out... i was like 'SHIT!' and Ed was still trying to finish his drink. And for the record, yes, he DID finish the drink before we ran out, and managed to sneak out and escape the raid.. lol

Merdeka Eve @ Curve!

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And they say I AM the camwhore. *pphhbbt*

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James. hAhaha. Nothing beats the "Initial D Look"

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Andy (Anyone wants to buy this?) =D

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Babes posing

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Deloitte peeps in SS (Which, surprisingly, closed down. I thought they were doing well. The lady owner still throws parties for her regulars at her place with free liquor till 7am wat. Hhmm. Owes Curve RM500k)

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Before a nite out with Info crew

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My life in candlelight

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My other half

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You can see sanjee, adeline and irms

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Uni mates reunion at Ascott

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i was sober that night. hahaa.

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Yawnz. i'm so sleepy. This is seriously hard work ok? Be grateful, CheeHooi!! =D

Friday, October 27, 2006

i did the unbelievable.


i stopped clubbing and drinking for a month, since Peedee.


i didn't go to Laundry, nor did i go to Passion/Poppy/Breakers/Matrix or anywhere of that sort.

for a month.


a month... o.O

(oklah, i don't call drinking at home with nick, ivor and abel as drinking la ok. it's just not right. i need to go out, spend some cash and drink till i get pissed drunk, which i have not done in 1 month. crap, am i really that superficial? sigh)

oh, never mind me.

i'm just being really bitchy.. with the pms and the 'i need to look for a better job' mood.


Tuesday, October 24, 2006


little itsy bitsy secrets on me..

1. when i wash my hands, i count from 1 to 10, 5 times. out loud.
2. i have a tendency to buy facial and hair products on whim. and these are really expensive stuff. more than my weakness for clothes.
3. i swear by Cellnique's stuff.
4. i hate it that kheong's head is so big. and so brute-ish
5. i grew so fat (fine, not literally, but i gained a fair bit of weight) that i started lying about my weight. i'm actually 52 but i convince everybody i'm still 50.
6. i'm a bit obsessed about jazzercise (not a secret, but it's in my head everyday) cause my ass is so damn fucking tight now
7. i use the same black clutch to club every time.
8. i rotate between 8 really nice tops to club. yeah. that's all, really.
9. i actually like getting drunk.
10. when i get upset over relationship issues, i drown myself in those noxious liquids.
11. i tell people "i don't play arcade games (even the racing ones) because it's pointless and mum said not to" for ages... but the truth is: i can't play for shits.
12. my 1st computer game was Sims. And i really never learnt to play anything else till DOTA 5 months ago.
13. i didn't dare measure my waist for the past 2 years. hehe. although i'm sure it ranges around 25-27 inches... =P
14. i told my parents i've already quit smoking. i lied. i'm not really quitting, you know what i mean?
15. always felt that my brother was a useless prat. But he's proven he's not...
16. yes, i'm secretly proud of him and his dedication to his job.
17. but i'm still very pissed at him for not chipping into the family, tho he earns like, RM700 more than me o.O
18. always felt my parents loved him more than me. and that he was always right. i thought i was the black sheep of the family and not loved... until i saw my parents cry.
19. i suck at piano. even tho i finished grade 8
20. i drive very well. Really!! =) And i used to race my benz before i trashed it pretty bad and my dad sold it off and got me a puny picanto. urgh.
21. i secretly crave to settle down soon.
22. i'm very picky with friends. i actually find it easier to talk to guys than girls.
23. it's Leanne's birthday on Thursday.. ssshhhhhh
24. i think that i can't express myself for real.
25. my feet are HUGE!
26. my boobs are tiny. the barely there sort. *LONG sigh*
27. i always misplace my diamond ring. hehee. ALWAYS.
28. i have my own cue. but it doesn't mean i'm fantastic. i have good days and bad days in pool. Sometimes i am on excellent form, and other days i can't even beat a pool-noob. sigh
29. i hate sugary drinks. Water is my favourite liquid.
30. i always suck in my stomach when i go out. Always.
31. i have a penchant for minesweeper. And Freecell.

now you know. *nods head*


Friday, October 20, 2006

the official nosy fucker of the year

i cannot believe what a partner in this firm is doing.

he's drinking.

at 10am.

by 11am, he was drunk.

He swaggered over to everybody and started spreading rumours to my boss.. loudly PROCLAIMING at the top of his lungs that i am leaving the company.

i don't know how he knows.

But no one here knows.

SO.. my direct boss confronted me, to which she said "i heard rumours going around that you're leaving us. Are you?"

i replied "Er. i'm here, am i not? i'm still doing my job, no? So? Wat's the big issue?"

that nosy arsehole should have his shoe stuffed into his mouth to stop the bitching.


i'll put some RICE on a SLIPPER and pass it to him, so he can have a good hearty meal.

"sek tho hai fan"

After all, he IS leeching off his malay wife (my big boss).

***edit: Sorry, i meant that the white guy is not a partner. Typo. His wife is. He's just a director of the firm. He's in charge of drinking and smoking and.... not doing anything. The dude onli gets allowance from his wife. No pay. HHmmm.. Poor thing, actually.. and that's the truth***

Thursday, October 19, 2006

i stand at the edge of reason;
contemplating and reminiscing
i stand affronting all;
even the ones that i have learnt to love

if i ran away;
will you blame me?
if i broke down and cried;
would you hold me tight?
if i begged you to stay;
would you still kiss me goodbye?
if i turned you away with harshness;
would you forgive me?

i stand here alone;
no matter how long, no matter how far
i will still be here


i always knew i was stupid in some way for loving you.

i realize at one point or many in my life that i have to learn. that i have to wake up.

to stop blaming myself. to stop blaming you. to learn to laugh and smile again.. without tears.

in my weakness i have allowed you in. now i reap the consequences.

in all my glory, no matter how fucking far i run away and wish to start over.. i can't.

eternally i am stuck here. with you. with me.

this isn't how it's really meant to be.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

what else but the haze? =_="

i'm getting sick and tired of the haze.

i wake up every morning, hoping to see a bright sun shiny day.. and what do i get?
Smog and burning eyes.

i can't sleep WITH air con because i have sinusitis.
i can't sleep WITHOUT air con because it's too fucking hot.

Wat am i going to do? Stop work until the haze is over?


Exerpts from a great piece from The Sun 18.10.2006 (can't find the article online)

by Derek Fernandez

"API readings don't mean much when throats are on fire. It is unforgiveable that children have to breathe this carcinogenic muck at a tender age. Muslims have to suffer more during this Ramadhan period since they have to abstain from drinking water under very severe conditions...

... For nearly a decade we have put up with an inconsiderate neightbour who shows no signs of taking action, except to issue meaningless statements of regret and apology.

... The claim that Indonesia does not have the resources to fight the fires is a joke since if they needed help then they should have asked for it a long time ago, ratified the Asean agreement in 2005 and prosecuted the culprits whom they partly blame.

Surely 10 years is long enough. What is more shocking is that our leaders play the same old broken record of excuses, which frankly everybody is sick of hearing. The impotence of ASEAN to solve such a serious problem after so many years just lends support to the criticism that ASEAN is just a "talk fest".

Indonesia on their part continues to blame, in part, the problem on Malaysian companies carrying out land clearing by burning which is prohibited..... If this is true, please give us the list of Malaysian companies and their directors who are involved together...

... Please stop talking about it, signing pieces of paper or regurgitating the same verbiage at conferences."


I hope this clears matters up for some of you.

Come on, the Malaysian government can do better than that.

Instead of spending approximately RM50-100K for each session of Cloud Seeding, why not seed over Indonesia? Haven't they realized BY NOW that cloud seeding HERE will not clear the haze? Come on.. another whiff of wind, and voila.. we're covered in smog again.

No wonder Sabah is now claiming they're broke. Dudes.. RM50-100K each session wei. How not to be broke?

If only the Indonesian government would allow them to fly over to Kalimantan and seed over there. I'm certain that the resutls will be better than the ones we're seeing now.

Hopeless cases.


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

my inspiration

this excerpt from the Secret Garden inspires me the most.. in this small paragraph... all the secrets of life are carefully spelt out for us to read. Can you imagine reading this paragraph when you're little?

One of the strange things about living in the world is that it is only now and then one is quite sure one is going to live forever and ever and ever. One knows it sometimes when one gets up at the tender solemn dawn-time and goes out and stands alone and throws one's head far back and looks up and up and watches the pale sky slowly changing and flushing and marvelous unknown things happening until the East almost makes one cry out and one's heart stands still at the strange unchanging majesty of the rising of the sun--which has been happening every morning for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. One knows it then for a moment or so. And one knows it sometimes when one stands by oneself in a wood at sunset and the mysterious deep gold stillness slanting through and under the branches seems to be saying slowly again and again something one cannot quite hear, however much one tries. Then sometimes the immense quiet of the dark blue at night with millions of stars waiting and watching makes one sure; and sometimes a sound of far-off music makes it true; and sometimes a look in some one's eyes.

i wish i read this when i was a child.. things would've been so much simpler.. =)

Monday, October 16, 2006

it pains me

Look at this! Woohooooo...

i'm so fucking impressed man..... =D


Now we can all be rest assured that everything will be transparent. that everything will be crystal-clear. We dont have to worry anymore hor?

*rolls eyes*


it pains me.


it pains me to see the government 'trying' to eradicate corruption... when the problem is at the grassroots. Try changing the education system first.
it pains me to see the government declaring that Chinese in Malaysia are not marginalised. when it's so damn obvious. How many of us get to go to local universities? Instead we have to pay more money to go to a public uni. Nevermind that. At least the education system is better there.
it pains me to see some people who would rather ignore all the signs. When it's so obvious that this country is going to the dumps. Why can't we turn things around?
it pains me to see that we fight each other. Malays. Chinese. Indians. We hurl racist comments at each other.. when the problem is not with US. It's with the ones who are controlling this beautiful country i live in.

it also pains me to see how other countries are being run. How the Chinese are being prejudiced.
Look at Indonesia:- 1. The Men dont work at the fields. Women do. Men just sit at the roadside; to smoke and drink. 2. Then they complain that the government isn't helping them enough. That they're siding the Chinese. (Note that the chinese are already being slaughtered there. We're hardy ppl. We work hard. We are rich and we became rich by our two hands). 4. Government 'tries' to console them. Doesn't work. 5. The people burn down churches and temples and kills the Chinese.

It pains me that no matter how much we say about these things.. nothing can be done. Our opinions are worth NOTHING. Chinese, Malay and Indians alike.

It pains me to see that there seems to be only one solution to this problem... By migrating.
Don't misunderstand me.
i love my country. i love the weather (Not the mossies tho). i love the food (GLORIOUS GLORIOUS FOOD). and i actually like the people here.
But i don't want my kids to be raised in this system. i don't want them to learn that to be Chinese is to be pushed over and not be given benefits; even if they're born here. i want them to learn equality. to be respected for what they do and what they can do.

It pains me that the only solution.. is by escaping it. that there really is no solution.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Malaysians having amnesia.

something to ponder over:



To my friends who have not yet registered, please register yourself at the nearest post office.

Hope you guys know who you're voting for.

i've slowed down on clubbing lately. Not on drinking though.

Another drinking party tonite!

i'm cooking PORK CHOPS!!!!!

All the 'Chue Pah' you can eat... yumm...

woke up at 8 in the frigging morning today, drove all the way to ss2 market and bought 10 huge pieces of pork chops and it's marinating slowly in the refrigerator as i type this.

*licks lips*


i'll be clubbing at Ruums on the 27th of this month. A friend is spinning with jungle jerry.
This might be the only time i will be clubbing this month.
(Oh wait.. i went to savannh last sat nite)

Haha.. so much for stopping.


psst: jazzercise is working. My ass is TIGHT! *giggles*

Monday, October 09, 2006

the haze is so not fucking funny, alright?

everytime i get out of office or the house; i get a sorethroat. Immediately.

i'm having a constant headache and my sinus is fucking up again. this is so not funny.

i'm getting an m.c. tomorrow. fuck work.


ps: why isn't anybody doing anything about the haze? Bloody shit.

Friday, October 06, 2006

thank you

to my loved ones.

thanks for the encouragement, and for strength to go through this 'hard time'.

i know you guys think i'm strong enough, that i can weather anything, that if i put my mind to it, i can achieve anything.

thank you for having that much of faith in me.

i know you guys worry for me.

thank you.

he said "Failure is sometimes not an option"
he said "You cannot accept failure. That's why you are so harsh on yourself"

she said "You're d ONLY GIRL i know who can excel at something if she puts her mind to it"

i say... what if. what IF i'm not as strong as you think i am?
what if it's all a facade?
what if i'm actually very very weak?
what if i'm really shit at office politics and ppl trample all over me?
what if i'm right...

i really don't wanna be here when it's all over.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

i need to re-evaluate myself at work.

Maybe this isn't what i'm cut out for.
Maybe this isn't my line.
Maybe i can't write.
Maybe i'm unsuitable in this field.

Maybe; just maybe, i should find nest elsewhere.

Maybe i can't work under people.

Maybe; just maybe, i should quit right here right now.

Nobody's blaming me. But i still can't help but feel that i'm just not cut out for this job.
Maybe i'm just not.... PR-ish enough.


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

OH my Ass!

the pain!

the ache!

oh my sweet beautiful flabby ass is in PAIN.

on whim, i signed up for Jazzercise classes... and honestly i'm hooked! Just after 1 class!
After 1 streneous hour of Attitude Lifts, Lunges, and Jazz squares, my ass feels like i ran for 2 fucking hours.

and did i mention about my thighs? Whoa baby!
i can't walk properly.

i walk like i've had too much sex last night.
(which i didn't, of course.)

But the sweet pain of workout strain........

An exerpt from the jazzercise website:
Jazzercise is Innovative!
**Jazzercise continually varies choreography and music to bring a sense of new energy to each class.
**Jazzercise combines jazz dance, resistance training, Pilates, yoga, kickboxing and more to create a truly effective workout

For those who wish to lose a few pounds, here's the website:

Sweet Lord. The pain.

Monday, October 02, 2006

ah kheong




















****i mean, after all, Ah Kheong IS the first cockroach i've killed****

just a lil bit of everything

apparently i have a knack of commenting on everything and anything.

if i hit my toe, i start scolding the damn ppl who put stuff deliberately all around the floor.

if i get stuck in the jam, i start cursing the ppl who rushes home from work everyday early(pot calling kettle black).

if i get see someone wearing something that is close to atrocity, i start saying bitchy things like "Wah her house no mirror wan ah?"


ok, bitchy, i know.

Here are the things that i LOVE to comment most on:


i had to 'cap' it. i mean, how can we not comment on women? Every single girl, woman, aunty, grandmother will comment. Wah, her dress so slutty; her hair so ugly; her shoes! omg, her shoes!; wah damn nice her complexion. wat she eat ah?; to f**king bitch. hope you rot in hell in that fake smile pose.

The above mentioned are general comments by women towards general stuff.

i just like to comment on a few things, which are:-

a. Makeup - we took a short road trip to pd last weekend, hoping to catch a good rave there for once (i wasn't disappointed) Just so u know, girls have a hard time keeping themselves happy.

For one, during road trips, we get dehydrated. But we can't drink as much water as we'd like, if not we have to pee. and we are SO NOT going to pee in dirty public toilets dotted along the highway. And NO, we're not gonna pee in the bushes as well.

So i tend to stay away from makeup while i'm travelling, and drink moderate amounts of water. i thought i looked pretty fine (my complexion is still rosy, and my under eye circles are alright) to travel to pd.

Imagine my horror when i got to the lobby. Tonnes (and i mean, tonnes) of girls had like one inch of make up already. Wah, talk to me about travelling in style. How do they do it? Put so much make up during the two hour trip. whoosh. talk to me about versatility.

My definition of pretty is a girl who takes care of herself; her body, her face, her figure. and she has to be comfortable in her own skin. What i don't understand are girls who come to the BEACH with one inch of makeup. If you sweat, how? If your makeup runs, how? You can't swim. You can't run on the sand. You can't play ping pong. You can't jetski.

Then what's the point of going to the beach? Sit down there look pretty ah?


if there's one thing i like to comment on; are women with too much makeup and strut around thinking they don't have enough to begin with. urgh.

2. Clothes - oklah, at least the girls in the trip wore beachwear. so that was ok. i just wore jeans and a t shirt during the trip and changed to a short skirt and spaghetti to wile the rest of the afternoon away. at night i wore a balinese long pants (fantastic-looking, comfortable, cooling cotton pants; long enough to ward off mossie bites) and a white tube with a nice decent looking mother of pearl statement necklace. minimal make up. we are on the beach after all, no?

But what i don't get are girls who go anywhere or everywhere else thinking they're going to a BALL. or a PARTY.

One utama got club wan ah? i didn't know wor. Even if they do have one, wah, they open at 2pm wan meh?

One issue is overdressing.

The other, are women who don't dress according to their body shape. Come on, i'm not exactly fit nor am i thin. But i'm happy and comfortable with my body, and dress according to the occassion, according to my body size. Meaning: NO mini skirts, NO platform shoes, NO tiny tops that shows off my tummy.

Take a walk to OneUtama at noon, during the weekend. You'll know what i mean when i say some women don't dress according to their body size.

DRIVING IN MALAYSIA (i had to cap this too)

Malaysian drivers - MY GOD.

They stop in the yellow box.
They don't let you go. Even if you signal already.
Some races just drive worse than the others (and no, i'm not going to say anything here)
They honk at you for no reason.
And the jam. OH MY GOD. The jam.

Can someone please tell me why is it always jammed up in the middle of federal highway? And after a fair bit of jamming your brake, the jam miraculously clears up. Why?

Is there some unwritten rule in Malaysia that says "we have to jam break in the middle of the highway, just to piss some un-Malaysian drivers off"?


Yeah, i'm over-opinionated.
yeah, i'm very bitchy.
Shoot me.